We all know that we have unconditional love for our children. The thing we don’t necessarily consider is that although our children love us back, it’s not the same. They will only truly understand the love a parent has for their child when they become parents themselves.
So how do we let our children know that we will love them no matter what? One way is to tell them on a regular basis and check in if they truly understand what it means to be loved to the maximum.
The script could go something like this:
“No matter what you do, I will love you to the MAXIMUM. This means that you can hurt others, you can lie, cheat, steal, and I will still love you. It would be better if you didn’t do those things because your life will be negatively impacted by these choices, but no matter what, I will still love you the MAXIMUM. I am your parent, so there is nothing that you can do that will make me love you LESS.”
Parents seem quite familiar with that concept. But what about the flip side of the coin?
“No matter what you do, I will not love you MORE. I will NOT love you more if you get good marks at school, or do well in your chosen sport. I will not love you more if you are generous and kind. I will not love you more if you choose the same career as I did, or earn a better salary than your peers. I love you the MAXIMUM already, so I cannot love you more."
This is very important. This teaches children that they are already worthy. Children do not need to “earn” a parent’s love. It is already present, at full capacity, and always will be.
This is the definition of unconditional love.
This beautiful song, “No Matter What”, by Calum Scott captures this idea perfectly. You can watch the video here: https://youtu.be/kBIhqNT5gsE